Unworded Endearments
by AmadErik
Summary: This is my story for Valentine's Day 2019. Leroux- based oneshot, taking place in Requiem and Resurrection/Devil's Little Face AU. What happens when Erik tries to make their first Valentine's day as a couple a special one and finding the correct words?


Christine was a little bit of hurt in her heart.

She did not receive any Valentine's Day cards that year.

She waited eagerly all day on the 14th of February, and nothing happened. No one knocked on her door with some flowers delivered to her address, she did not receive any letters, nor any kind of small gift. It was like any other days of the year.

Of course, this wasn't a problem in itself. There used to be many years she could exist without any messages sent regarding her beauty and skills put on a pedestal. The issue wasn't even her vanity being hurt by the lack of those rose colored and too sweet to be true little cards, full of endearments and words of passionate love, but the fact she felt she did not belong to anyone any more.

Naturally, not a simple Valentine's Day greeting may or may not measure love, and how is it felt, but the fact that someone can be so careless of forgetting an occasion to simply be kind to a loved one with a simple card and a bouquet of flower being sent out to the woman they love says something.

Something what she feared deep down in her heart for a time anyway. Maybe the fight with Raoul, and the consequences which followed and completely changed her life weren't the right thing to do. Raoul, dear Raoul would never forget Valentine's Day, and most certainly would not miss a chance to express his endless love towards her. He sent out such a huge bouquet of flower the last year it was nearly ridiculous, but at least he was trying. Now he traveled to the other side of the world, hurt and sorrowful, and she wasn't able to reach him any more. He did not deserve such a fate after nearly dying for her safety… because he loved her. Yes he did, she did not doubt that. But Erik…

Maybe Erik was right when he wanted to break off all contacts with her a few months back, reasoning that they can't be a couple. It would not do any of the any good. He felt that Christine only went back to him because Raoul was finally out of the picture, and he said something strange she did not really understand back then, especially after Erik's self-sacrificing act when he let her leave with Raoul. Erik said

_"___I can't love you as you would deserve, Christine, I can't love anyone truly, as it is, as one should love someone, not even myself, let alone someone else and you are unworthy of that faith. Please leave until you can."__

What was that sentence from a man who fought for months to keep her, who wanted nothing more than to marry her and chain her to himself just a few weeks before? Maybe he realized he did not love her enough to marry her and he now decided to break off all communications? Only that could be the case, as the last year Erik was at least trying to get her attention and heart. He sent flowers with a small card which did not say too much, but it was at least something. " Dear Christine, Happy Valentine's Day. With regards, Erik" It was simple and too formal, but at least he showed some sparkle of affection. And what happened now when he did not have a rival anymore and he could have gotten closer to her if he really tried? He simply chose to ignore it.

With an irritated and sad sigh she glanced upon the small box on her bed. She was preparing that for Erik, and wished to give him that gift for Valentine's Day when he invited her for dinner, as she was certain he would. But he did not. What on Earth had happened…? When she saw him the last time he did not act stranger than anytime before, Erik was unpredictable for certain, but not that much unpredictable in general, and if he had a problem with the relationship, he would have already messaged her for sure, that he wished to discuss something with her. He did not, at that time. Maybe he simply forgot it? Can it be…? Or maybe was he ill again? She did not even think of that possibility before. Maybe, instead of making up theories, she should go visit him and find out what had happened and only after she should think about the possibility of the worst outcome.

Maybe she had still someone who loved her and wished her by his side? Maybe she should be more patient with Erik…? He isn't all that good with socializing after all. She picked up the gift wrapped box and left her apartment to find out the reason behind the silence under the Opera.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"_Roses are red, violets are blue… when I first saw you I fell in love with you…_"

No. Too sickeningly sweet and… and it is most certainly a lie. When he saw her first, nothing had happened. He did not even remember the time he had saw her first. To tell the truth, Christine Daaé was just as unimportant to him as anyone from the community. She was just a face from the crowd, a woman with no name. It rarely happens in reality what they say in plays or novels. A man notices a woman who stands out from the crowd by her beauty and love suddenly fills up his heart in a blink of an eye and from that moment he is officially and madly in love with her. Bullshit. His love did not happen that way and both of them know it. It would be ridiculous to write that to Christine. Another one.. And he should take more effort into writing to her, the only love of his life… Oh, yes! Music! Of course! They both love music and a form of divine art makes their souls be one, magically… way to go, this is the right path…

"_When I heard you sing I knew our fate is linked together as you enchanted me with your voice…_"

False. Another lie. When he first heard her sing it was most certainly not enchanting. She did not sound anything special, on the contrary. Her voice was only moderately better than average and she had serious issues with technique. He did not like to admit it to himself as she was now a perfectly singing and beautiful girl, now that he knew her better, but she just used to be a gray and dull thing before… and he started teaching her only because of three facts: one- she was a kind girl and showed kindness and helpfulness towards everyone, even him, when he was in need of help once, and she was so glad about the possibility of being tutored by the "Angel of Music", two- It was pleasing to converse and socialize with someone after long decades of solitude, especially if that someone is as kind as Christine, and three- he did not feel well listening to her singing before, so he rather taught her how to use her voice properly. Again, both of them knew how it was. This was far too much of a lie, and Christine might take it as mockery- and no way he shall mock that angel of a woman, oh no.

Maybe he should rather describe her kindness and empathy? Her caring soul…? Maybe he should truly write down his first impression of her, no matter how awkward that might be?

"_When I once walked home on that icy day before Christmas and I was mocked by a group of children, I fell on ice and you came and helped me up. Even though I wore nothing but the false nose to cover my face, which proves you have a heart of gold and I…_"

God in Heaven, it looks even worse when written down. This is so pathetic excuse of a confession and only shows his misery. He can't say he is in love with her because she showed the smallest amout of affection and mere politeness to him ONCE. Erik, you miserable fool, you know better than that. You SHALL know better than that. What a fool you are, you can't even word a simple Valentine's Day letter? All right. Let's go in order. Addressing first. After we figure out the rest.

"Dear Christine…" No. Too simple. "My dearest Christine…" No. Too controlling. She never likes to be owned and controlled. "Mlle Daaé…" Bah. "Sweetest…sugar." Too sickening, Erik does not write that. She knows he is not like that, it is too false. My love, my life, my entire world… MUSIC… oh, God, Erik, who the Hell would want to be called Music in a message, when they have an own nice name, you fool, what kind of an addressing is that? Sugar cube. I have to throw up. Come up with something full of common sense.

"_Christine, _

_I love you. I love you so much I can't word it normally. Be my love forever and I rather show it than tell you because I am not the man of words. _

_I remain humbly yours, _

_Erik_"

What is that, you fool? Do you call it a love letter? Oh, you…

\- Erik…

He suddenly heard a soft voice behind his back and his heart nearly stopped beating of fright. He turned around so fast he nearly tripped in the leg of his chair. Yes, it was Christine, standing behind his back, holding a small box.

\- Chris… Christine? Oh… come… sit down my dear. - He awkwardly rushed to the sofa to toss some books laying there and he just dropped them on the floor so that he can show Christine a seat the fastest way possible.

\- Were you reading these all? - She examined them curiously, not being used to Erik treating books so unkindly before.

\- Just… searching for inspiration. - He admitted softly.

Shakespeare sonnets, love poems of different poets, and the most entertaining title "How to enchant a woman - simple love letter samples". Suddenly she was struck by the realization that Erik was still working on her message.

\- Erik… how are you? - She asked worriedly. - You look so tired. Have you slept at all?

\- Why should Erik sleep, Christine, when it is only… half past two in the afternoon? - He checked his pocket watch.

\- Erik, I do believe your watch stopped. - She stepped closer to put her hand on the man's shoulder comfortingly. - It is half past ten.

\- Oh… silly me… I am sorry, I just… I have been trying… Christine… is it too late for a dinner for you still… oh… well… I haven't even… started to cook yet as at first I wanted to… write a letter.

\- Erik, it can be a lunch instead.

\- No, I am fine, I can prepare that in an hour… and a half. The most.

\- It still will be a lunch f you start it now. - She chuckled.

\- Is it… morning? - Erik's eyes widened and jaw dropped in astonishment and utter shock.

\- It is. - She nodded with a smile.

\- In the name of Bach church organ, why am I such a miserable freak…?

\- Don't call my lover a freak. - She gently hugged Erik's arm, and led him to the sofa. - I think it is you who should sit down instead and rest a bit.

\- Oh Christine… Erik is so terribly sorry for this… he did not manage to write his Christine a confession of love for Valentine's Day and did not send out anything with it… it is already too late.

\- Erik dear, don't be silly. - She sat down next to him and cuddled up against him while sitting. - I appreciate the effort in itself that you put into making me happy. It shows how much you love me, without needing the perfect words you were seeking for so long hours.

\- So… Christine isn't angry with her Erik that he had missed Valentine's Day..?

\- It is just a day of the year, Erik. But our love is forever.

Erik could not answer, simply because he was too tired and too touched to react to this. He only hugged her close to himself and with trembling hands he caressed her hair and nodded with tears forming in his eyes. The afternoon of 15th February found Erik in a kind of inappropriate position, laying on the couch with his head placed on Christine's lap as he tried to rest up after such a tiring activity of pleasing the love of his life by the words he wasn't able to find. Christine was gently rubbing his forehead in his sleep, to make his slumber a peaceful one by her touch, which he subconsciously might feel and recognize. Most likely it did happen as Erik smiled in his sleep, moaning in pleasure.

"You are certainly not an ordinary man." Christine thought to herself, "but I love you."


End file.
